Dreaming Up in Relationships
Relationships: we can’t live without them and we can’t live with them! Listening to a friend speak about her most recent friendship conflicts, I am reminded of the dreaming up process between people. Process work describes the story that arises between people as a dreaming up process. Although it seems to be human nature to describe a conflict in terms of what the other is not doing right, in the dreaming up, characters emerge that we don’t recognize as ourselves.
Once I had a friend who was also a teacher and she asked me to host her at our place. True to my Capricorn nature I was pushing myself to get everything organized and beautiful, even past the time she arrived. She was very angry at me and left, saying that I didn’t respect her as a teacher. I was outraged. I had given up a number of hours in my day to prepare the space for her. For a long time, all I knew is that I wanted her to take back what she said and see the experience through my viewpoint. She dreamed up a disrespectful character that I didn’t recognize.
This is the dance of relationships. Can I tolerate a new dream in which I am playing a character that I don’t relate to as myself? Her view of my position was both freeing and disturbing. I recognize the way I exclude others through my busyness, disrespecting their presence and putting my agenda first. Doing this consciously, allows clear focus on what is important to me. When I refuse to bring the dream character into awareness, I am acting out of anger and martyrdom.
Explore the richness of choosing to investigate ourselves in relationship. Authentic Relating: Beyond the Dance of Rejection, Frustration and Let’s Make a Deal begins Tuesday February 26th 5-7:30pm at the Dolphin House. Let’s see what we dream up!
Call 541-535-3338 ext. #3 to register or email firstname.lastname@example.org