The Mental Judge is part of our inner family that represents our capacity to discern and separate. In many of us, critical impressions from the past have distorted the mental judge into a harsh inner critic. This limits our capacity to recognize and sort through what life brings us day to day. In SoulWork we enter into a relationship with the judge to use the discrimination to clarify our life rather than condemn oneself and others.
Metta practices from the Buddhist tradition help create a SoulWork inner dialogue that is supportive rather than accusing. The following metta practices may help you create an atmosphere of loving kindness towards yourself and others, to come into right relationship with the inner judge.
General Practice Instructions – Each post will focus on one practice. Start by saying the line out loud, perhaps 11X. Drop into the sound vibration of this supportive inner dialogue. Then take the line onto the breath using one half on the inhale and the other on the exhale. Hold this mental vibrational level for several minutes. Lastly take a few minutes in silence, breathing in and out of your heart feeling the effect of your practice. **“May I remain in peace, and let go of expectations.”
The Challenge – At first the mental judge seems to be completely parental, cultural and derived from our religious upbringing. As I often hear: “Why did you say that? If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Those words came from the movie, Bambi, that exemplified my childhood along with my mother’s need to keep everything positive, including all feelings. Just like a good mentoring relationship, the mental judge can challenge your point of view. When I hear the mental judge's familiar retort, I wonder what feelings are hidden behind what I just said? What am I trying to hide? This inquiry changes the old pattern. I find the voice to speak up, be more straightforward, and have compassion for the feelings that I have judged in myself. The purified mental judge has the potential to guide us towards individuation.
The Practice: **“May I see my limits compassionately, just as I view the suffering of others.”
Accepting Pain – Often when we have any kind of pain, the mental judge has something to say about it. We blame ourselves, believing that we are the cause of it or worry that it will get much worse. Maybe there is the expectation that we should be perfect, without problems. Not only do we have the physical or emotional pain to contend with, but the added suffering of the mental anguish and fear. If instead we accept the human condition, including one’s fear of pain and desire for pleasure, we can develop compassion for our human reactions to pain and the challenges of life!
The Practice: **“May I accept my pain, without thinking it makes me bad or wrong.”
Love – Childhood impressions around being cared for and adored leave us with distorted ideas about love. These concepts are then usurped by the mental judge in service of our supposed protection. That can translate into cynicism, pushing love away, clinging desperately to it, or not even recognizing it. Sufis define love or ishq as the fundamental substance that holds the universe together! The Christian commandment is “love your neighbor as yourself”. We know love is powerful and want it for ourselves, but how do we get it? With this metta practice we invoke the medicine of love to replace the mental poison of judgements and cynicism toward self and others.
The Practice: “May my love for myself and others flow boundlessly.”
Feelings -"Are you angry again?" The mental judge tries hard to separate us from our feelings! For some of us, it is around crying, or worrying, or being afraid. There is always some human emotion that is judged as unacceptable. When we were young we discovered what feelings were uncomfortable for our caregivers and learned to push them away so as to avoid withdrawal or attack from others. Now we have both the fear of our feelings and the feelings themselves. It is freeing to have faith in our life's unfolding, accepting and holding our feelings without their story consuming us.
The Practice: “May I accept my anger, fear, and sadness, knowing that my vast heart is not limited by them.”
Ease – Have you heard your monkey mind lately? While my mental judge pushes me to be more peaceful and happy, I get more stressed trying to make ease happen. "You should be meditating more; you aren't appreciative enough of what you have," etc. The more I listen to the logistics of what is needed instead of centering on the desire for peace, my body gets tighter and my mind gets faster. Taking a deep breath and becoming aware of my body brings relaxation, and soon the basic experience of breath and body become the focus. In fact, my mind slows down as my breathing deepens.
The Practice: Then it is effortless to add the metta practice: “May I be peaceful and happy, at ease in body and mind.”
Forgiveness: Monkey mind loves to point out what others are doing wrong: "You love being the center of attention." "Talk and talk, but do you follow through with what you say?" When I trace back criticisms I have towards others, I find there is a similar judgement towards myself. I attack myself for even wanting to be the center of attention and even though I talk about my love of dance, I never measure up to my critic's ideals for practice time. Breaking the cycle of criticism happens as we remember our humanness, with compassion and understanding towards our desires and foibles.
The Practice: The following metta practice can support us in this process. “I forgive myself for mistakes made, things left undone, and my natural human desires.”
The Mental Judge, Unfolding & the High Priestess
He Says: Unfolding and the Mental Judge Each of us is a continually unfolding being, a life in process. The mental judge would like everything to be organized into little boxes, planned out, predictable. When the mental judge is in charge there is no room for spontaneity which brings aliveness and mystery to our lives. As John Lennon said “life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”
She says: The High Priestess & the Mental Judge
"What do you mean you don't know what to do now, you better think of something." The form-lover, mental judge, is terrified of the unknown, the mystery, the archetype of the high priestess. Since the mental judge's role is to keep us safe, of course there's a push to stay with the known, dependable, and predictable. The risk of going into uncharted territory is both frightening and exhilarating. This is what propels me forward with my dance and body poetry!
The Practice "May I open to the unknown, as I leave behind the known, like a bird flying free."
This material is a part of Sufi SoulWork®
svaha says
This is so very beautiful. I look forward to deepening my relationship with the mental judge and playing with these paractices. Thank you for sharing this.